You, the Closet, and the Truth
Josh Morgan
Issue date: 4/23/09 Section: News and Opinion
Coming out of the closet. Most of us have heard the term and know what it means. To humor this article let's say some people aren't as up to date. The phrase means to come out from hiding in your closet, where no one can see the true you, sometimes including yourself, and revealing yourself to your friends, family, and anyone who cares. Revealing yourself means accepting and embracing the fact that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and/or transgender. For convenience, when I say gay, I mean all of the terms covered under LGBT may apply. Coming out as a transgender is a much more difficult process than what the LGB people face but it does not necessarily mean a transgender person is gay.
The first person that we have to come out to is ourselves. This is one of the hardest phases that we face in the coming out process, mainly because it is accepting who we are on the inside rather than having to try to convince another person. We have to deal with our fears, doubts, pain, depression, denial, and so much more by ourselves at first. A full self-reflection is constantly going on inside our heads where we ask: Who am I? This question for anyone is difficult, but especially for a person who has been told their whole life that there is only one thing they can be, even though our body tells us differently. It is as difficult as where did we come from? The most important thing to remember is that it is better to be hated for we are than loved for who we are not.
Some of us accept it early, before we enter college, and others it takes a while to fully realize what these feelings we have are. I didn't classify myself as possibly gay until late high school. I always felt attracted to the same sex but never considered that I could ever be gay. Why is it so hard to accept though? The most basic answer I can give is that it is different from society. It isn't conforming to what people want you to be. People don't have that same feeling of security that everyone is just like them if you are going to be different. People are afraid of what is different from that which has been seen as safe.
The first person that we have to come out to is ourselves. This is one of the hardest phases that we face in the coming out process, mainly because it is accepting who we are on the inside rather than having to try to convince another person. We have to deal with our fears, doubts, pain, depression, denial, and so much more by ourselves at first. A full self-reflection is constantly going on inside our heads where we ask: Who am I? This question for anyone is difficult, but especially for a person who has been told their whole life that there is only one thing they can be, even though our body tells us differently. It is as difficult as where did we come from? The most important thing to remember is that it is better to be hated for we are than loved for who we are not.
Some of us accept it early, before we enter college, and others it takes a while to fully realize what these feelings we have are. I didn't classify myself as possibly gay until late high school. I always felt attracted to the same sex but never considered that I could ever be gay. Why is it so hard to accept though? The most basic answer I can give is that it is different from society. It isn't conforming to what people want you to be. People don't have that same feeling of security that everyone is just like them if you are going to be different. People are afraid of what is different from that which has been seen as safe.
Viewing Comments 1 - 1 of 1
long distance movers
posted 5/20/09 @ 4:24 PM AST
Very well written article. It is not an easy experience and hopefully you have made it a little easier for other people who have read this. It helps a lot when you have support from your parents and friends, but even then, the path to figuring yourself out and figuring out how to present yourself to others is never an easy one. (Continued…)
Post a Comment